Digimon the MovieX: Longer, Wronger, and Unadul
by marakamiya
Summary: Long title. Warning: Southpark movie spoof! Lots of swearing and other content. Yes, it will have bits of Taiora (what'd you expect) but also... well, you'll figure it out.
1. The Movie

This is probably the worst thing I could have done. I'm writing a Southpark Movie spoof. Believe me, Southpark: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is one of my favorite movies ever and I highly respect Trey Parker and Matt Stone. But the beauty of fanfiction and animation is the ability to make fun of just about anything, and I want to try my hand at it. There is going to be A LOT of swearing and content from the movie. I'm going to try to follow the movie as closely as possible, but I'm not going to copy it completely. I'm also going to still promote Taiora, but I will also do something different. Normally, I'm more of a Takari fan, but Daikari is going to work out so much better in this one. And I know it may seem uncharacteristic of the Digidestined to be so impressionable, but too bad. Otherwise, there'd be no story.

I own none of this. Southpark belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone belong to themselves. Digimon belongs to Toei and others who were involved in the creation. This is only for fun and I plan on gaining nothing from this. So here we go. There's no turning back now.

**Digimon the Movie X: Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated  
**Chapter 1: The Movie

There were a bunch of birds in the sky. And some cars went zooming by. Flowers were blooming underneath a blanket of cherry blossoms. Young Davis Motomiya was walking along singing some song about another Sunday morning in a quiet mountain town. But he did not live in a quiet mountain town. He lived in a bustling city in Odaiba, Japan. But on this particular Sunday morning, he was enthusiastically strolling to his friends' homes. First he would stop at Cody's house. He found Cody on his break from his Kendo practice, sipping some tea while sitting on the planter in front of his apartment.

"Hey Cody!" Davis greeted. "Come on! We're going to see that new foreign movie, Southpark: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut!"

"Davis. I'm at Kendo practice right now," Cody protested.

"No you're not," Davis smiled and grabbed Cody's arm. He dragged the poor kid along and on to the next destination. They arrived to find Ken kicking soccer balls in the front yard of his apartment.

"Hey Ken!" Davis shouted in excitement. "We're going to go see Southpark!"

"Cool. Let's go."

"Ken!" his mother called. "Where are you going?"

"Uh… we're going to play soccer!" Ken answered with a more acceptable activity.

"Well, don't forget to bring your little brother with you!"

"Mom! He's not my little brother! You just adopted him last month!" Ken shouted back, annoyed.

"KEN!"

"All right. Sorry," Ken shrank back. "Come on, Mike," he called and waited for the little three-year-old to catch up. Their mother watched them leave.

"Such vulnerable and impressionable children they are," she thought. "Thank God we moved to this city."

There was one more stop on their journey to the movie theater. They stopped at a small convenient store. The little bell on the door jingled. Yolie remained in her lazy slouch at the counter.

"Mom! Customers!"

"Hey Yolie! We're going to the Southpark movie! Let's go!" Davis urged her.

"Yes! Oh God yes!" she sang as she tore her apron off and escaped a nearly boring Sunday working in the store.

"Soon, our lives will be complete!" Davis cheered.

"Yeah! Because Southpark is sweet!" Yolie added.

It was the moment of truth. They approached the ticket office. Davis slapped the money on the counter. "Five for Southpark: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut please," Davis said proudly.

"No," the cashier answered while wearing a smile.

"What?" Davis stuttered in confusion.

"Southpark: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut was rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America," he explained, still wearing his obnoxious smile.

"Why did they do that?" Davis asked.

"Because it has naughty language!" he shouted. "Next!"

The kids hung their heads in defeat.

"That's not fair!" Yolie whined.

"There has to be a way to see that movie!" Davis punched his hand. "Where's Veemon? He can fix this!"

"Wait a sec, Davis," Ken interrupted him. "I've got a better idea."

-

"Six for Southpark please," a young man wearing a white robe said.

"This movie may not be suitable for the kids," the cashier explained.

"Hey, Davis. He says this movie may not be suitable for you," he whispered to Davis.

"Look, Gennai. If you don't want the ten bucks to buy a new phone card so that you can stay in touch with us longer at cheaper rates, then be my guest," Davis muttered back.

"Six please," Gennai promptly addressed the cashier.

-

"This is gonna be awesome!" Davis whooped as they found seats near the front of a nearly full theater. "Hey Yolie, give me some candy."

"Get your own candy, hair boy!" Yolie pulled her concessions away from him. Davis would have began a fight with her had the lights not dimmed, indicating the beginning of the previews then the beginning of the movie.

The movie began with a nice, cinematic song. The little boy in the red poof ball hat sang about another Sunday morning in their quiet mountain town. He walked along, gathering his friends for a day at the movie theater. First was the little boy in the orange coat. Then it was the little boy, kicking his baby brother around the front yard. Finally, they arrived at the fat obnoxious kid's house.

_This seems familiar_, Davis thought to himself as he watched the movie._ Boy, Yolie would kill me if she knew what I was thinkin'_. He chuckled to himself at the comparison of Yolie to Cartman.

The song ended as the children arrived at the theater, only to be denied entry to the rated R flick. But being the clever little kids they were, they found a way in. The movie began, opening up to the very first fart joke which was the norm. What happened next caught them by total surprise.

"_You're such a pig fucker, Philip_!" the movie character shouted. The children in the movie gasped in shock, as did the Digidestined in the front row.

"What did he just say?" Ken murmured in disbelief.

"_Shit-faced cock master_!"

"Shit-faced cock master?" Yolie muttered in awed surprise.

"_You donkey-raping shit eater_!"

"Don-y wawin shii eaer!" little Mike tried to say.

"_You'd fuck your uncle_!"

"_No! You'd fuck your uncle_!"

And the two broke into song.

It was at this point that most of the theater had already cleared out. Very few remained by the mid-point of the film. But the kids were oddly attracted to its crude and utterly offensive charm. They saw the movie from beginning to end, absorbed the words of each song and basked in the excitement of their new-found vocabulary.

"That movie was fuckin' awesome!" Davis shouted, leaping from the ground in exhilaration.

"I must admit that was some entertaining shit," Cody agreed.

"Hey!" the cashier shouted. "Where's your guardian?"

"Uhh…" Davis stuttered.

"I knew it! You paid an adult to get you in!"

"Eat shit you donkey raping shit eater," Yolie replied smugly. The cashier was taken aback and he knew that if anyone found out, he was in deep shit.

-

They hurried to the park, anxious to spread the word to the other kids. A small soccer game was going on between the neighborhood kids.

"Hey! Where have you guys, been?" Tai asked as the five approached.

"Oh, nowhere," Yolie said in an innocent tone. "We only went to see the Southpark movie."

Suddenly, all activity stopped. "THE SOUTHPARK MOVIE?" Everyone crowded around asking numerous questions.

"Hey! Back off you shit face cock masters!" Yolie shouted.

"Ooooo," they said in amazed awe.

"It was amazing!" Ken announced. Everyone instantly knew that if Ken Ichijouji liked it, it was indeed a good movie. Davis' attention lingered to the soccer field, where his gaze fell on the only other thing he like more than soccer. Kari Kamiya was running around with the soccer ball and she made her way to them to see what the excitement was about.

"Hey Davis," she said, stopping in front of him. Without warning, he blew chunks. "EW!" she shrieked.

"Whoa! Must be getting the stomach flu," he reasoned. Just then, TK Takaisha ran up next to Kari.

"What are you doing here, TP?" Davis growled.

"I was just playing soccer with the others. Where have you been?"

"We just went and saw the Southpark movie," Davis sneered, standing up as tall as he could.

"I see," TK muttered. "Come on, Kari. Let's go kick the ball around while we wait for everyone else." He ran off in the opposite direction.

"Bye Davis," Kari smiled and ran to catch up with TK. Davis sighed heavily. Apparently, no amount of swearing was going to get Kari's attention.

"I don't think this movie's such a good thing for them," Sora muttered to Tai when they were away from all the commotion.

"They'll probably swear so much they'll get bored of it," he said, throwing his hands behind his head. "Of course I never get bored of swearing," he smirked. Sora responded by blushing deep red.

* * *

Well. It's a start. I hope this is entertaining. Let me know. 


	2. At School

Wow. I'm quite pleased with the response to the first chapter. Thanks everyone. It makes me feel like it's not going to be so bad after all. Anyway, I still have certain scenes to think through, but I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible.

I own none of this. Southpark belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone belong to themselves. Digimon belongs to Toei and others who were involved in the creation. This is only for fun and I plan on gaining nothing from this.

**Digimon the Movie X: Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated  
**Chapter 2: At School

By the next day, everyone in the junior high had seen the movie. They sported the Southpark paraphernalia and sang the songs. When the teacher entered the room, they instantly silenced.

"All right class, let's begin," Mr. Fujiyama announced. He turned to the board and began to write. "Now who can tell me when the Meiji era began?"

Yolie thrust her hand in the air enthusiastically.

"Show off," Davis grumbled.

"Shut up, Davis!" Yolie exclaimed.

"No, you shut up, four eyes!"

"You shut up, goggle brains!"

"You shut up you fucking female!"

"DAVIS! What did you say?" Mr. Fujiyama shrieked.

"Female?" Davis asked.

"No! He means fuck! You can't say fuck in school, you dumb fuck!" Yolie shouted.

"YOLIE!"

"We can't say fuck?" Davis shouted in surprise.

"DAVIS!"

"You just said fuck again!" Ken yelled at Davis.

"KEN!"

"Dude. What's the big fuckin' deal?" Davis asked.

"HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE OFFICE?"

"How would you like to suck my balls?" Davis retorted.

The entire class gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Mr. Fujiyama roared, at this point red and fully enraged.

"I'm sorry," Davis apologized. He stood up. "What I meant to say was: how would you like to suck my balls, Fujiyama-sensei?"

Mr. Fujiyama's mouth dropped to the floor. The class sat in terrified silence.

"Holy shit," Ken muttered.

-

"I must say, this is not the kind of behavior I would expect from some of our best students!" the counselor lectured them. "Especially you, Mr. Ichijouji!" Ken sank into his seat. "Where did you all learn such language?"

"We… can't tell you," Yolie said. "It's a secret."

"Now, I've called your mothers, so…"

"You called my mom?" Ken suddenly sat up.

"That's right. They're on their way right now."

"I'm dead," Ken groaned, rubbing his face.

"It won't be so bad," Davis laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder while speaking with a tone of optimism. "In fact, you might be the lucky one. My parents are going to beat me."

However, this didn't bring Ken any comfort. The door of the office flew open and the three women rushed inside and took their place behind their respective child.

"What did my son say?" Mrs. Motomiya asked. "Was it the 'S' word?"

"No. It's actually much worse," the counselor explained.

"The 'F' word?" she asked again, her voice growing fearful.

"Well, this is a brief list of some of the things they had been saying," he explained as he reluctantly handed a paper over to them. Mrs. Ichijouji took it and Mrs. Motomiya and Mrs. Inoue gathered around her.

"What the heck does that mean?"

"Oh my God! Yolie said that?"

"Where did you kids learn all this?" Mrs. Motomiya asked.

"Uh…" Ken stuttered.

"Ken!" his mother growled.

"It was the Southpark movie!" Ken shouted.

"KEN!" Yolie and Davis shouted.

"Sorry guys."

"Southpark?" the counselor queried.

"It's a crude and distasteful cartoon on American TV," Mrs. Motomiya explained, well aware of the show's existence.

"Aw shit," Yolie muttered.

"Yolie!" her mother shouted.

"Sorry, mom. But the movie has warped my fragile little mind," she whined sarcastically.

-

"Man! I can't believe their getting all worked up over a stupid little movie!" Yolie complained. The four were standing in the lunch line, recounting their visit with the "authorities".

"I got yelled at by my mom, too," Cody explained. "It slipped I tell ya. I said I wouldn't swear in school, but it slipped."

"Yeah, well it happened to the best of us," Ken groaned. Davis lost interest in the conversation and let his attention wander the lunchroom. He spotted her, Kari, sitting at a table across the room with none other than bucket head, or as they all called him, TK. He gazed longingly at her, wishing for her attention and her love.

"Hey! Quit holding up the line!" Yolie yelled at Davis. They finally made it to the food, where Tai was serving his volunteer time as a lunch-person.

"Hey guys," he greeted.

"Hey Tai," they said.

"How's it going?"

"Bad."

"Why bad?"

"We got in trouble for swearing," Ken explained.

"You guys are still all excited about that movie?"

"I only slipped!" Cody whined. "So you know what? If it's going to be that way, then I say fuck it! I'm gonna swear all I goddamn want!"

"Cody!" Tai gasped in shock.

"Pretty fuckin' sweet, huh?" Yolie chuckled as they left with their food. Davis hung behind.

"Hey Tai. You gotta girlfriend. How can I get a girl to like me more than any other guy?" Davis asked, avoiding Kari's name.

"That's easy," Tai smirked, busy stirring the macaroni. "You just gotta find the clitoris."

"The what?" Davis asked. Tai suddenly realized what he said.

"Uh… nothing! Forget I said anything!" he stuttered. "Now move along. You're holding up the line." Davis gathered his tray and joined the others at a table.

"Hey Ken. What's the clitoris?" he asked.

"The what?"

"You don't know what it is?" Davis asked in surprise.

"Should I?" Ken asked. Davis looked to Yolie and Cody. They only shrugged.

* * *

Well, that's what I got for now. Stay tuned for more **Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated** as well as my other story** Misunderstandings**. Bye Bye.


	3. Resolved? Uh oh

Eesh. I've been real busy lately. Anyway, here's the next chapter. This is where it's going to get troublesome. I really hope I don't get in trouble for this, but it's all for the art of the the fan fiction. And to answer Anubis24's question, Mr. Fujiyama really only appeared in episode 2. In any case, he's the teacher now (evil chuckle).

I own none of this. Southpark belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone belong to themselves. Digimon belongs to Toei and others who were involved in the creation. This is only for fun and I plan on gaining nothing from this. Now there really is no turning back.

**Digimon the Movie X: Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated  
**Chapter 3: Resolved? Uh oh.

"All right everyone," the counselor explained. "Your mothers insisted that you be taken out of class and put into rehabilitation to get you all off of your swearing habit. Yes, Takeru?"

"I don't belong here. I didn't even see the movie," TK said.

"You're such a fucking wuss," Davis chuckled.

"Now, see. That's what we need to tackle. So I've set up some easy steps to follow to help you."

"1) instead of ass, say buns 2) instead of shit, say poo 3) with bitch, drop the 't' because bich is Latin for generosity 4) don't say fuck anymore" Cody counted off. The group stared at him.

"Very good, Hida-san," the counselor applauded. "See. It's simple as that! Now let's all try it."

Hours and a catchy song later, they were finally released with a clean report. They memorized the steps necessary to cure them of their habit and they were free for the rest of the afternoon for "personal reflection". To reflect, the entire class went to see a movie.

"Man! That movie gets better every time!" Yolie declared as they left the theater.

"Hey!" the ticket guy shouted, but they just ignored him.

"Yeah, but that part about lighting the farts on fire really is bull shit," Davis said. "I've never seen that before, and I've seen it all."

"Of course you can," Ken explained. "It's methane gas and it's flammable."

"Heh heh. You said gas," Davis chuckled.

"No. Look. I'll show you," Cody said. "Hey, Benny! Come over here!"

"Yeah guys?"

"You can light farts on fire, right?" Ken asked him.

"Yeah, check it out," Benny said. He pulled out a lighter and bent forward slightly. He lit the flame and suddenly, a little fireball appeared. Benny chuckled. But then the flame caught his clothes and he burst into flames!

"PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Benny screamed. An ambulance screeched to a halt, which was then rear ended by a truck full of salt. The load of salt poured out of the truck and extinguished the flaming Benny, thus creating another uncomfortable situation for Benny.

"Oh my God! They killed Benny!" Yolie shouted in horror.

"Those bastards!" Cody roared.

"Wow. Was I ever wrong," Davis admitted.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The children stood idly in the waiting room at the hospital. Poor, poor Benny had been rushed into the Operating Room only to over-dose on morphine, be electrocuted by the defibrillator, and spontaneously combust. Sure they were sad that their friend had died, but they were more worried about what their mothers were going to do to them when they found out. And how right they were. The mothers burst into the room through the double doors.

"So you saw that movie again!" Mrs. Ichijouji shrieked. "You are grounded Ken!"

"You too, Yolie!"

"And so are you, Cody!

"And you're grounded with no soccer, Davis!"

"What? That's bullshit!" Davis shouted as they were led away.

"What? What was that word young man?" Mrs. Ichijouji scolded.

As for Benny, he was on his way to oblivion. He floated through space, upward toward a shining light. The light was warm. The light was good. He reached out, ready to accept the light. But as he reached the thresh hold, alarms began to go off and he fell. He fell and he fell and the air began to grow hot and thick. It became dark. Demons swirled around him, taunting him. Grabbing him and stretching him and throwing him around. They finally threw him out of the spiraling ring-of-fire and he once again floated in the void. He remained suspended in nothingness, terribly confused. He wasn't going to Heaven and he wasn't going to Hell. So then where the hell was he supposed to go?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Our children have been corrupted!" Mrs. Ichijouji spoke out at the PTA meeting. "We have to do something about this!"

"But what can we do?" a young mother whimpered.

"We must blame the source of this problem!"

"The lighter?"

"The fire?"

"What about the doctors?"

"No! We must do as the rest of the world does! We must blame… America!"

Upon those words, mothers all across the country began their crusade. They created a name and a logo. They made shirts and stickers and window decals. That day, they became Mothers Against America and they had a plan.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"All right you brats!" Jun commanded. She stood in front of the television and addressed the four who sat on the sofa. "Your moms are all away at a meeting and you're still grounded, so that means no TV! So you have to sit here and be quiet! Any questions?"

Davis raised his hand. "Yeah, Jun? What's the clitoris?"

Jun grabbed Cody's Kendo stick from his duffel bag and smashed it across Davis, breaking it upon impact. Cody yelped and inched toward Yolei.

"Now keep it down while I go watch my shoujo anime!" She marched to her room and shut the door.

"Finally," Davis groaned and powered up the television. The picture was a close-up of the talk-show host sitting at a desk.

"Tonight, we have with us the creators of the controversial film, Southpark: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut, Trey Parker and Matt Stone," he said. The camera zoomed out to reveal the two men sitting in arm- chairs on the camera left side of his desk. "Glad you two could make it tonight, gentlemen."

"Glad to be here," Trey said.

"Now, this film has caused quite a lot of controversy in the short time since its release. Do you wonder if it was a good idea to release it here in Japan?" the host asked.

"If America could manage to swallow it, we'd figure it'd take off here," Matt explained. "You know, those pesky American censors."

"There are quite a few special interest groups that have formed in opposition of your film. Aren't you at all worried that you might not make it back to the states because of this?"

"They'll have to catch us first," Trey laughed.

"You are right, sir," the host said, this time with a menacing tone. "NOW!" Suddenly, the JSSDF rushed the stage, coming from all directions. They aimed their rifles at the two bewildered animators.

"What the hell?" Trey shouted.

"Parker and Stone!" Mrs. Ichijouji approached. "You are under citizens arrest for the corruption of our children!"

"MOM?" Ken shrieked when he saw what his mother was doing on national television.

"Oh my God!" Davis shouted. "You're mom made the army arrest Trey Parker and Matt Stone!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Benny had finally fallen asleep after hanging in oblivion for some time. As he woke, he found himself in a dark place. The ground was cold and hard. The sky was a blend of black and gray. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. "Where the hell am I?" he asked no one in particular.

* * *

What can happen now? Where is Benny? Who will make Southpark episodes if the show's creators are in a Japanese prison! Am I ever going to finish this fanfic! 


	4. War!

Eesh. About damn time I got back to work on this story. There are gonna be a few road blocks in writing this thing. This may be the biggest story of my career here. All right, enough rambling. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been taken captive and the U.S. won't take it. And Benny gets an assignment.

I own none of this. Southpark belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone belong to themselves. Digimon belongs to Toei and others who were involved in the creation. This is only for fun and I plan on gaining nothing from this. Now I can't go back.

**Digimon the Movie X: Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated  
**Chapter 4: War

Early that morning, a soft roar filled the air over Japan. It grew in intensity as it drew closer to its destination. In a large building, a group of people had been gathered through long ungodly hours, toiling at their work.

"Okay. This is what I think," one said. "Instead of pairing up the red-head and the brunette like everyone thinks, we'll pair up the red-head and the blonde and just catch everyone by surprise."

"That sounds good." "Yeah. All right." The others all agreed.

"Hey. Do you hear something?" another asked. He looked out the window towards the sky. The sound grew closer: the roar of engines pulsating through the breaking dawn. Fighter planes suddenly flew into view and by the time they saw them, the building was no more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Okay everyone. Now that class has started, we'll begin with the new lesson plan your mothers are making me teach," Mr. Fujiyama announced. He turned around and began to write on the board.

"_Attention students and teachers_!" the PA sounded.

"What now?" Fujiyama sighed.

"_There is an emergency assembly in the gym. That is all._"

Soon, the entire school had gathered in the gym and sat on the crowded bleachers. The counselor switched on a television. The emperor appeared on the screen, sitting at his desk.

"Today," he began his speech, "a crime has been committed against our great nation. At six o' five am, the United States has bombed Toei Animation Studios. In response to this attack, Japan has declared war against the United States of America."

The assembly gasped at the sheer shock and horror they had just heard.

"No. TK, no," Kari murmured.

"Hang on to me, Hikari," TK consoled, pulling her closer to him.

"They bombed Toei?" Fujiyama cried in disbelief.

"If the US does not fall back on their actions, then in two days, the war criminals, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, will be executed."

"Dude! They're going to kill Trey and Matt!" Davis shouted.

"They can't!" Yolei cried.

"Here with me is my newly appointed Secretary of Offense, Ms. Karen Ichijouji." The woman walked into camera view and stood next to the emperor.

"Oh my God! It's your mom!" Cody exclaimed.

"Mom?" Ken's jaw dropped.

"This only proves that our children are in greater danger than we thought!" Mrs. Ichijouji declared. "We cannot allow the crude humor and foul language of that backwards place to run rampant any longer! If the censors cannot protect our children, then we must do it for them!"

"Son of a bitch," Ken groaned.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Is someone out there? Hello!" Benny shouted.

"**_Greetings, young hero_**," a voice boomed. Benny cowered in surprise and glanced behind him. A large, blue dragon-like creature was approaching him from the sky. He turned around to face the creature but his legs would not move to escape. He remained frozen where he stood until the creature was finally above him.

"Oh hell…" he whimpered meekly.

"**_Do not fear. I am Azulonmon, one of the four guardians of the Digital World_**," it explained.

"D…Digital W-world?" Benny stuttered. "You mean… that place that Davis and the others have been to?"

"**_Yes_**," Azulonmon explained. "**_You have been chosen to quell the trouble that is once again brewing between the two worlds. There is an evil you must subdue so that the prophecy does not come true, and the worlds not destroyed._**"

"So you want me and my new partner to go sneak around, attack, and destroy whatever is causing you trouble?" Benny clarified.

"**_Partner_**?" Azulonmon asked. "**_Oh no, my boy. You are to do this alone, for you are the Chosen One_**." With that, Azulonmon turned his body and flew off into the distance from which he came, leaving Benny completely stunned and completely pissed.

"Wait! What do you mean I don't get a partner? Don't I at least get one of those cool gizmo things? And what prophecy? What the hell are you talking about?" But Azulonmon was long gone. "Damn it! I'm stuck here and Davis and the others are living it up at home!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It would have seemed to be a normal day at school. The kids hung around in their groups and cliques. It was the thundering jets cutting through skies above that broke the usual trend.

"Man, this war sucks," Davis groaned.

"Hey. What's going on over there?" Ken asked, motioning toward the tables. A crowd had gathered. TK was standing on the table.

"The government thinks that they can just come in and enforce anything they want over something so trivial as film entertainment! This war will destroy all relations between ourselves and the Americans! Think of the anime exports!"

The crowd was silent, but slowly began to disperse, mumbling among themselves.

"You guys! This is about freedom of speech! Freedom of censorship!" Kari spoke out. Davis gazed at her, mesmerized. She was speaking so passionately and was so cute at the same time. He yearned for her to be his, but it seemed as if she was already TK's. But what made TG so special? Was it his looks? Was it his hat? Or maybe it was the fact that he was sucking up by pretending to be all political about this whole war thing. Perhaps he, too, could pretend to be political to get Kari to notice him.

"What do you think, Davis?" Kari asked, approaching him. Davis instantly tossed his lunch. Kari ran for cover.

"Damn it!" Davis shouted.

"This is too much!" Cody shouted. "Ken! You gotta stop being a chicken and stand up to your mom! You were the fucking Digimon Emperor for God's sake!"

"Cody, I can't just do that to my mom."

"Your mom is just being a big bi…"

"Don't say it, Cody!" Ken shouted.

"A big bi…

"Cody!"

"A…"

"CODY!"

"All right, fine," Cody moaned and walked off.

"Cody sure has changed hasn't he," Yolie mentioned as she watched him walk away.

"I'm really getting tired of people calling my mom a…" Ken said to the others. Then Cody ran back and stopped in front of them.

"Ken's mom is a bitch! She's a big fat bitch! She's the biggest bitch in the whole world!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Shut up!" Ken screamed.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, she's a stupid bitch!" Just then, Mrs. Ichijouji arrived in time to hear Cody's ranting. The other kids froze in terror. "Ken's mom is a big fat fucking bitch!" He glared at them when he was finished and was confused that they weren't even looking at him.

"What?" he asked. He turned around to see what they were staring at and came face to face with an angry Ichijouji-san.

"Aw, fuck," Cody grumbled.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"As we continue the war against the Americans, we must also fight bad language at home!" Mrs. Ichijouji spoke. "We have created a technology to eliminate naughty language in our children. Professor," she motioned toward the man standing next to her. The man in the lab coat stepped up to the podium.

"We have created a device that can be implanted beneath a child's skin. When a swear word is said, an electric shock will be released, giving the child a little prick. It's much like the idea of shock therapy, only now it is somewhat humane." The professor paused to allow for questions.

"So this thing knows when a child swears?" Mr. Kamiya asked.

"That's right. Very much like a lie detector. We'll bring the subject out now," he explained and motioned toward off stage. Cody stumbled out, still wearing the surgical cap and gown. "The subject has been fitted with the device."

"Oh my head," Cody groaned. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Now then, I want you to say 'pillow'," the professor instructed, holding up a card with a picture of a pillow and the word pillow. Cody was apprehensive at first, curious as to what this strange lab-coat man's intentions were.

"Pillow," Cody said slowly.

"Now say 'doggy'."

"Doggy," Cody said, still somewhat suspicious.

"Now say 'Osaka'."

"Osaka," Cody said, this time with a proud grin.

"Now I want you to say 'dip shit'."

Cody looked to his mom who sat in the audience.

"Go ahead, sweety. It's all right," she assured him.

"Dip sh…AHHHH!"

The audience gasped and oh-ed.

"God damAHHHH!"

"Now say 'fuck face'," the professor told him.

"NO!" Cody shouted, greatly annoyed.

"Success! The child does not want to swear!"

The audience applauded, pleased with the presentation.

"But I'm the good kid! THE GOOD KID!" Cody shouted at the crowd. "It's not fair you sons of bi…AHHHH!" The applause of the crowd only intensified. Mrs. Ichijouji stood at the podium again.

"We will have our children all implanted by next week!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mothers Against America was protesting in the street again. A bonfire was burning in the center of the road; Southpark paraphernalia was burning. Even the children were being forced to burn their things.

"We have to stop this," Davis growled, clenching his fists.

"Davis, we're not supposed to be here," Ken said nervously. "We're grounded and my mom will have a fit if she sees me out here. And besides, she won't listen."

"Ken. You have to stand up to her," Yolie prodded.

"Hey guys," Cody sighed, depressed.

"What's wrong with you?" Yolie asked.

"They put this thing in me," Cody explained, still low. "Now I can't swear at all."

"You can't say fuck?" Davis asked.

"No," Cody whined.

"And you can't say shit?" Davis asked again.

"No."

"So you can't say, 'I'm Cody. The dullest fucking little shit in the world'?" Davis grinned.

"FUCK YOU…AHH!" Cody shouted and was zapped.

"Cool!" Yolie laughed.

"That still doesn't solve our problem," Davis became serious. "Come on. Let's go talk to them."

"Davis! No!" Ken pleaded, but Davis was already marching toward the crowd.

"Mom! You have to stop this!" Davis proclaimed.

"Ken! What are you doing here?" his mother scolded as he approached. "You're still grounded."

"Tell her, Ken," Davis encouraged.

"Uhhhm," Ken stuttered, but fell silent.

"You guys have to stop this war!" Davis picked up the slack. But the mothers did not listen. They went on with their protesting. The kids left in defeat.

"What are we going to do?" Yolie whimpered, feeling hopeless.

"I told you they wouldn't listen to us," Ken said.

"We have to do something!" Cody exclaimed. "I'm tired of getting electrocuted!"

"Let's see," Davis said, holding his chin thoughtfully. "What would the Australian Gennai do?"

"What would any Gennai do?" Ken asked. They stood in silence for several moments, changing position every so often.

"I've got it!" Yolie yelled in excitement. "He'd get the Digidestined together!"

"Yeah," Ken smiled. "So all we have to do is get a group of kids together, Digidestined or not."

"Yeah! This is a matter for all kids!" Davis whooped. "Come on! Let's go save Trey and Matt!"­

* * *

What prophecy? What do the kids have planned? What have I done to sweet, innocent Cody? When will the next chapter come out? So many questions. Stay tuned. 


	5. A Plan

Time for an update. I really want to finish this one and keep it intact. Wow. Benny's actually getting some pretty good screen time and quite a bit of dialogue. He was just supposed to be a cheap, satirical knock-off of Kenny. Good for him. Anyway, it's time to plan the next step of the war.

I own none of this. Southpark belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Trey Parker and Matt Stone belong to themselves. Digimon belongs to Toei and others who were involved in the creation. This is only for fun and I plan on gaining nothing from this. Now I can't go back.

**Digimon the Movie X: Longer, Wronger, and Unadulterated**  
Chapter 5: A Plan

Benny walked down a dry, beaten path past some dried dark trees, angrily kicking stones along the way.

"Why does this shit always have to happen to me!" Benny grumbled. He brought his foot back and launched what he thought was a stone. It hit a tree and bounced back to him and lay at his feet. It glowed and started to beep steadily. "What the hell?" He leaned down and picked it up and examined it. It wasn't a stone at all. It was a hand-held mechanical device. "Cool," he said and pocketed it and continued on. He soon came to a clearing at the end of the path.

"Jebus, Harry, and Pikachu," he gasped. An impressive looking and equally evil looking castle jutted up from the ground, it's highest spires so high that they penetrated the dark haze that hung over the land. He jumped as he felt the device start to go wild in his pocket. He pulled it out and observed its behavior. He glanced back up at the castle.

"It does look pretty evil," he gulped. He put the device back into his pocket and started for the castle.

xxxxxxxxxx

The Japanese army had grown quickly, after yet another attack that leveled Victor Entertainment. A show was promised to all those who would enlist, the grand finale would be the execution. Now the army was parading on the streets, preparing for the ensuing battle.

"We'll use my computer," Ken said and switched it on. It took a moment for the computer to completely load. It then took another moment for the Internet to connect. During that time, Davis got an idea.

"Hey, Ken. Could you look up the word 'clitoris' first?" Davis asked.

"Huh? Oh sure," Ken said and typed "clitoris" into Google Search. The first page popped up. "Whoa! 8 million pages found!"

"Just click on the first one."

"Welcome. You must be over 18 years to view…" Ken read. "Okay," and he clicked. He suddenly sat straight up when the image came on and the video played.

"So? What is it?" Davis asked, trying to see around him.

"It's a guy and a girl having sex!"

"Is it Tai and Sora?" Yolie chuckled sarcastically.

"It IS Tai and Sora!" Ken shouted.

"What?" they yelled. They gathered around.

"_Oh Tai_," Sora moaned in pleasure.

'Holy Sh…AH!" Cody began but was zapped.

"_Hey, did you hear something_?" Tai asked. "_What the… MATT! You son of a bitch! What are you doing with that camera_!" Then the video footage went staticky and stopped.

"Well that was somethin'," Yolie murmured, still surprised.

"All right, all right. Let's get this over with," Davis said, redirecting their attention to the matter at hand.

"Attention everyone," Ken read as he typed. "There will be a meeting tonight to plan the liberation of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The code name is… Hantai."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, the army held a meeting of their own. A large group consisting of both humans and digimon occupied a dimly lit room. In the center was a holographic module. The General stood and addressed the soldiers.

"As you all know, tomorrow night is the big show with fun and entertainment for all ages then to be followed by the execution of Stone and Parker. After the show, we will then board our planes and ships and storm the Americans. Once there, it will be very dangerous. So we have come up with Operation: Digital Shield, or Get Behind the Digi's." There was a brief pause, allowing the soldiers to exchange glances. "Will Platoon 101001 raise your hands or claws or whatever." A small cluster of small to medium sized Digimon raised their appendages. "And now will Company 99 raise your hands." The rest of the room raised their hands; three times the amount of the Digimon division.

"What the…" Gennai fumed.

"Platoon 101001, we are depending on you to protect the invading force. You will suffer heavy losses, but it will all be for a valiant cause." He approached the holographic module. A grid appeared with little chess pawns. A thin row of black pawns lead a group of white pawns. "Platoon 101001 will cover Company 99." Lasers shot and destroyed the black pawns while the white pawns advanced. "It is also imperative that you protect our planes and ships as well. Everyone is dismissed!" The room slowly cleared and was once again silent. No one was there to notice the holographic module suddenly flicker on, emit a chilling mechanical laugh, then shut off once again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Benny sat on the ground, cross-legged at the foot of a tall castle wall, and stared up as it disappeared into the dark haze.

"If I were evil, where would I hang out?" he asked himself. "I'd probably stay on the ground floor, because I'm lazy. But they're not me, so I assume that they would be on the very top floor." He sat and stared. "Son of a bitch," he growled. He glanced at the device in his hand. "Well, better get started," he sighed. He stood up and spat into his hands and rubbed them together. He looked up at the wall, swung his arms back and forth a bit and jumped up as high as he could. "Crap!" he shouted and landed on his face, passing through the wall as if it was made of mist.

"A fake wall?" He picked himself up and looked around. There was a stone stairwell in front of him, winding upward. With no other options, he made his way up the stairwell. Benny climbed the dark, cold stairs, singing every song from the Southpark movie twice. Upon his third round of "Uncle Fucka" there were no more stairs to climb. On the other end of the empty corridor was a heavy wooden door. Benny crept up to it and pushed it open slightly. He gasped slightly at the sight inside as a blue light and an orange light interchanged: the blue light like that of raw electricity and the orange light like the glow from a lantern. The blue light then stopped all together.

"Boy, do I feel much better," said a high, accented voice. A stubbyblack ball with bat wings stretched. It turned toward another creature, its only real body mass in its over-sized head while standing on some seven or eight tentacles.

"Now we can have our revenge on the Digidestined for defeating us and leaving us for dead."

"Yes, that will come in due time," the brain with tentacles said. It made its way over to a large stone tablet propped against a wall. "Yes. The humans are at war with themselves. And when the blood of the innocent is shed, the Digital World will rise to take over!" It writhed its thin hands together. "Yes. No one ever thought that I, Vademon, would be the one to lead the campaign against the Earth and fulfill the prophecy."

"Who said you're going to be the one to lead us?" the bat-ball snarled.

"I only brought you back from oblivion because I knew you would want to help," Vademon sneer indignantly.

"As long as I can make the Digidestined pay for ruiningall my plans and making Myotismon eat me.Demidevimon will see to that."

"And we will rule the worlds!"

"Holy crap! I have to do something," Benny hyperventilated. He fumbled with the device, punching every button it had. "Come on, if you're anything like what the others have, you'll do something useful. He continued to mess with it until it finally glowed.

* * *

Vademon and Demidevimon: the best choices for Satan and Sadam? Well, if I remember No Questions, Please correctly, Vademon seemed pretty gay and Demidevimon, well, (whispers) _he has superiority issues_. I mean, anyone can just resurrect one of the original really bad guys, but give the little bad guys a chance. They're angry, too. 

And hantai means "resistance." Thank god for language dictionaries.


End file.
